We'll none of us forget 2020. It has brought a multiplicity of challenges from logistical to interpersonal, physical to ideological. We've got a ruinous economic situation that makes me scared for my job on both a financial level and as well for mine and my students' health. Then there's the political situation, featuring a president who tweets absurdities, threatens to delay elections, and sounds half-ready to refuse to leave if voted out. Seems like back in November of 2016 we were right to be afraid of this administration. My neighbors are really representing the two sides of the spectrum lately; one flies a Trump flag, and one flies a rainbow flag that says "Love Always Wins" and I know which side I am on for sure. Mom and Dad are battening down the hatches against a hurricaine. My worst enemy was just given a position as my boss over the strenuous objections of many of my colleagues. My BF thought he got Covid from his reckless friend (he ultimately tested negative, but the friend tested positive). It looks like my birthday trip to London is almost certainly getting cancelled. Fuck this year.
On the other hand, the pandemic and its ability to shaft the Theatre industry and put the BF out of work has meant that we've been spending an inordinate amount of time together, and possibly saved our relationship, forcing us to have some rather necessary conversations. He made me a cold frame for the garden. Joined us for the annual family gathering with my parents and one of my brothers. We talked about our kids. Thanks to his ability to save thousands every year while touring we have a nest egg ripe for IVF, and at my age there's no time better than the present. So in a couple of weeks we're going to take the first tentative steps towards that reality. It may still fall through and in our situation there are complications galore, but it's something more than we've had, and he's changed a lot. For the better. Like, he's grown.
I, however, will be searching for a new job this year. As comforting as a tenured position is at this juncture, I'm not the only faculty member up in arms over the University's planning and communication failures. Plus there's that whole ignoring codified procedure to push a shadow agenda thing. Part of the plan to move is fixing up the house. Can't believe I'm thinking of selling it barely more than a year after I bought it.
The garden is a gem though. The wisteria is blooming and bushy, I've put in several white roses. There's a birdbath with a solar fountain in the upper bed. Waves of orange cosmos and purple foxgloves. Ripe tomatoes from my own plant. I'll have to give a full update on that by itself. Sometimes I walk out onto the deck on these summer mornings and I pinch myself. I have a garden! What's more, it inspired the BF to plant a garden at his dad's house (he's channeling his mother) and his soil makes me jealous. His squash plants are massive and everything's so healthy. I'm still fighting the effects of flooding on my sloping hard-packed clay.
Fingers crossed for a vaccine. Fingers and toes. So many people need this, and need good news and hope of all kinds. The heavy betting is that we'll barely get the students back on campus before we have to shut down again, and that would be deleterious indeed.
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