Coffee, Sweet Mistress of My Waking Hours

Behold the forbidden fruit of my desires. Despite my apparently high cholesterol this is my preferred evening snack; some tomatoes (only very lightly salted), cucumber, strawberries, crackers, basil, olives, and cheese glorious cheese. Tell me how in the ever living world am I not already dieting?! Okay, okay, so this is the snack, what about the dinner? Sometimes this is what I have for dinner, especially if I'm tired and don't feel like cooking. So easy to throw together; but if not one of my other go-to meals is a packet of rice, a packet of tuna (lemon-pepper mostly), and some capers with maybe some cut up avocado.

Not that I don't love to cook, and I love going out to eat when I can and trying new things, especially international foods with Mediterranean and Middle Eastern food being my favorites. However, I live in the middle of BF Nowhere, and while options have become more plentiful in the last few years they're still pretty slim. Plus I live alone, and going out to eat by yourself is an exercise in humility, as well as of subterfuge in a small town where everyone knows everyone else either by sight or reputation. (Seriously, the day the clerk at the fabric store asked me about my divorce was the day I knew I could no longer go incognito anywhere here.) The busyness of the semester can lead to poor food choices, especially as we head into tech on shows with the average day being 16+ hours long for seven days straight at least. That's why I like to take some time during breaks and weekends to make and freeze food ahead. I've got a lovely batch of turkey mango chili chillin' in the freezer right now, just waiting for its moment to shine. And be consumed.

(Hmm, kind of like the bf...)

My real problem, the true temptation, is coffee. More particularly lattes. I go almost every single morning to the campus coffee shop and get a Venti latte. Right now it's Vanilla, but over the course of the year it will vary with the seasonal varieties (what is this butterscotch abomination out right now???) provided they are good. This past year I told myself I'd go off them over the summer, but ended up for two weeks in Boston where the temps varied wildly between blazing hot and freezing cold depending on the day. Plus I was with students, so coffee was needed. And that's the problem really, it's become a need. I told my BF I was going to save more regularly this year and his immediate question was "So you're giving up the daily coffee?" I looked at him like he had grown purple spikes. That's not going to happen.

So how do we break habits that have grown from occasional indulgences into needs? For me the plan has to be multi-stepped or it won't work because absolutes make me twitchy.
Step 1: Recognize the unhealthiness of the habit, and why I want to make a change.
Step 2: Ease back gradually on the behavior, do not try to go cold turkey.
Step 3: Understand what about it is causing the addictive mentality (what reward is it giving me?)
Step 4: Replace as able with something similar but less problematic.
Step 5: Reward success, but not too much.
Step 6: Change reinforcing factors or environments that keep me going back to the same routine.
Step 7: (Hopefully) look back and appreciate the positive impact of the change.

Right. So. I bought a coffee mug with a lid and it's super cute with a little graphic that says "I turn caffeine into education" and that might not seem helpful, but it's not Venti-sized, it can only fit a grande which means that I have to step down to less caffeine and a smaller dose (and a lesser fee) to use it. I also started drinking a cup of caffeine-free tea in the evening before bed, which is nice in all kinds of ways. I put the dog to bed, make the tea. Sit and think for a bit. Turn all the lights off but one. Very pleasant. This little ritual gives me a lot of the satisfaction that drinking the Venti latte does in the morning at my desk, which reminds me of something I always say...Warmth is Love, Love is Warmth. The reason I thought I could give up coffee over the summer, and have done so in the past, is that a lot of what I really enjoy about it is the warmth. I always scoff at smokers shivering outside willing to suffer for their addiction...as I scurry through the winds and sleet across campus for my fix of coffee. Hello kettle, I'm Professor Pot.

The problem with the new mug is that it sits on my desk a lot while I go straight from my car to the coffee shop before class or shop hours or office hours. Which is why I've decided what I need is to set up a tea/coffee station in my office. I never make coffee or lattes at home, despite the fact that I actually own both a coffee pot and a latte maker! Why not bring those things into the office, invest in some non-perishable creamer, and use the adorable little silver tea service I have sitting there like a pretty knick-knack, and make the damn drink. No scurrying through the cold, no waste of money ($80-$120 per month!), and I can have the same rewarding ritual I enjoy at home.

There is one more facet though; social interaction. See, the baristas know me by now. In fact, there was one day a couple of years ago when I did not go, but I colleague of mine did and he got mine for me. When the baristas gave him my cup they had drawn and written on the sleeve for me, and it warmed my heart as much as the coffee did my, well, everything else. Most of my social interaction in life comes from teaching, from my students and the shows we do. I'm pretty solitary, in part by choice, but not entirely. Not going to the coffee shop every morning and holing up in my office instead will deprive me of one of my daily interactions. Not sure what to do about that.